who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
