I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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