If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
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I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
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I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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