we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Small penises have feelings too.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
