Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize