i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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