Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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