never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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