you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
