It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
