can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
