There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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