I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
