I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize