guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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