you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
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We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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