OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
