the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
