omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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