So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
