with your own penis?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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