Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
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we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
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I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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