Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Four minutes until I can fart!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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