Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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