i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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