The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
