Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
