I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
