I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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