when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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