If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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