i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Found your dick twin last night
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
