I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
