So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
