gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
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