Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
