i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
