she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
