Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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