So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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