I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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