im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
