I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
