I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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