Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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