i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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