I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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