im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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