You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
