matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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