You're so nebulous sometimes
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
