she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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