There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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