A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
