There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize