im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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