FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
