our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize