After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
