She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
