all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
