Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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