Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it glows. i had to have it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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